i guess i was never good at surrendering. well, sorta. i think.
everything i knew i ever wanted for the last few years was just shattered right in front of me within a minute or so. it is disappointing. very disappointing. 'cause it was all i knew i ever wanted. that one goal in my life that i knew i had control over, and would be able to achieve as long as i can help it.
setting goals are good, i guess. well... to a certain extent. it does help you sketch a pretty picture of your future if that goal/goals were attained. but setting goals and getting much too involved in making it work such that, i would say, obsessed with it is probably... not a very good thing.
and i guess that's what happened to me.
and now, i have no idea what i want to do/achieve anymore (obviously other than good results.). but like chris said, having no idea what i want to do and surrendering to God are totally different things. and now, i should surrender. it's not easy... this whole not having control of my life sorta thing. but i guess if i take that baby step in surrendering, things would get easier. i wouldn't be as burdened as i was.
i'm taking baby steps. and i should start applying what i used to tell joy to myself, Daddy's taking this ride. He knows what's best for us, and He will lead us through.
and i'm sure He is.
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