this is absurd. my nose is leaking, my throat hurts, my head's throbbing every now and then, and yet i can't seem to fall asleep. the whole night, i've been lying in my bed for at least 2 hours trying to fall asleep. technically, i shouldn't have this problem if i'm feeling unwell right?
then comes my head. it's as if it has a mind of its own. as much as i try to stop myself from thinking about what's going to happen when i go back, how i'm going to make full use of my time, yada yada yada ... i just can't stop. gah! and this whole trying to stop myself from thinking makes my head hurt even more. joy suggested that maybe because i'm just too excited to go back. especially since i've not been back in ages.
talk about excitement. heh. in actual fact, i'm not too sure whether it's worth being excited about. i don't want to go back all excited about everything and at the end of the day, be disappointed because some things don't turn out the way i want them to be or somewhere along those lines. you know they say with higher expectations comes greater disappointment. fyi, i do expect this really short and pathetic trip back to be extremely worthwhile. and i don't want this trip back to be screwed up because of some teeeeeeny bit of unhappiness i feel inside.
i do make mountains out of a mole hill. not that i'm proud of it.
everyone's out now. it's quiet. very very quiet. but i can't seem to do my work. rather, i can't seem to do anything at all. i'm just sitting here in the living room trying to formulate some solution to my restlessness.
grraaahhhh! i need sleep.
|